A Twisted World Extras and Oneshots
by Aerika-san
Summary: A collection of oneshots and side stories from both ATW and CL. Updated infrequently. As in, when I can be bothered... rarely
1. The Problem With Communal Showers is

**While I wait for something to hit me and go "look, look, I am a PLOT, WRITE ME!" I went through all my notes/deleted stuff/general crap and decided to do some oneshots from the ATW universe. Yes, yes I know, flogging, dead and horse spring to mind but I am bored, therefore I write lemons.  
****And they won't be in any particular order, just as they strike me, though I will put in a note to say where about it happened, though most can stand alone I guess…I'm rambling now aren't I?**

**Argh, I'm not going to have to disclaim all these oneshots too am I? That just sucks. Alright, here we go. I'll just say, I don't own D Gray Man, and this includes this and all future posts. OK? **

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Number One: Pre chapter 14

**The Problem With Communal Showers is…**

Kanda strolled into the white tiled shower room without a care in the world, looking neither to the left or right as he headed for his preferred cubicle and tough luck if someone was using it. It was his shower and therefore if he wanted to use it, he would.

All followed more nervously, looking around for tell-tale steam clouds or the echoing sound of running water. Thankfully it appeared as though the showers were all unoccupied.

"Relax Moyashi, there's no one here."

Kanda's voice made him jump a little, and he immediately felt silly for the reaction.

"Sorry" he mumbled, feeling distinctly embarrassed.

Kanda gave him a small grin watching him with laughing eyes and an expression that revealed his amusement at Allen's nervous antics.

"Don't give me that look! This was all your stupid idea!"

"Stupid idea? I don't recall any protests when I suggested it."

Allen blushed, choosing not to answer as he unfolded his towel and draped it over the sink. Reaching behind his head he pulled the tie from his hair, grimacing as the shoulder length locks swung around his face. Glancing up he saw Kanda watching him via the mirror. "What?"

Kanda raised an eyebrow. "Nothing." He too released his bound hair, not taking his eyes off Allen, who was still looking at him in the mirror. Slowly, carefully, Kanda undid his shirt buttons, unfastening each little disc with unnecessary deliberation and Allen's eyes followed each tiny movement hungrily.

The dark haired man let his shirt slide down his arms, not taking his eyes off the reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall. Allen was flushed, his mouth open slightly as his silver eyes roamed eagerly over the exposed chest of the man standing behind him. Kanda allowed a smirk to form on his face. "See something you like?"

Allen blinked rapidly and his flush deepened in embarrassment. He ducked his head, staring into the depths of the basin in front of him rather than risk meeting the smouldering gaze of the Japanese man that was now standing…right…behind…him.

Allen shuddered as he felt Kanda's breath stir the hair at the nape of his neck, as a pair of sword-callused hands came into view, tugging lightly at the ribbon around his throat, watching in fascination as it fluttered free, falling into the sink. Allen lifted his head and looked at Kanda's reflection. The expression on the samurai's face made him draw in a breath, his heart pounding. He found himself held captive in the intensity of those impossibly dark eyes, and was soon lost, spellbound by the force of the emotion that shone so unashamedly from their depth. He didn't even recognise the sensation of Kanda's skilful fingers liberating his own shirt buttons until the cool air of the shower room hit his bare shoulders and suddenly the garment was gone, lost amid the whiteness of the tiles that formed the floor.

Before he realised what was happening, he was spun around, and was now staring straight at Kanda, who had an expression of want written all over his face. The older man pushed him back against the sinks, one leg either side of Allen's while his hands roamed freely. Despite his obvious desire, Kanda's first kiss was gentle, far more so that Allen was expecting. He opened his mouth willingly when he felt Kanda swipe his bottom lip with his tongue and moaned in appreciation when said tongue delved into his mouth, but God, it was too slow! With a half-grunt of irritation, Allen reached behind Kanda's head and pulled him closer, forcing the tongue that was still leisurely exploring his mouth to defend itself against the sudden onslaught. Finally the need for air forced them to part. Kanda pulled back slowly, taking Allen's lower lip into his mouth and worrying it gently with his teeth before finally releasing it and leaning back, staring into silver eyes that were clouded with lust.

"God Moyashi, do you know what you do to me?" Kanda brushed a stray lock of mussed hair from Allen's face, his hand sliding round to cup the back of his neck.

Allen fisted his own hands in the spill of dark hair that fell down Kanda's bare back. "I have some idea, yes." He leaned forwards, inhaling the distinctive scent of his lover before running his tongue craftily across the older man's collar bone, before blowing on the wet spot and watching the goosebumps rise all over the other's flawless skin.

Growling a warning, Kanda turned them both around and pushed Allen against the shower cubicle door, which swung open with the blow, spilling the now entwined couple into the cold stall. Pressed against the cold tile, Allen couldn't hold back the shiver that coursed through him. Kanda noticed and smirked a little, reaching round to turn on the water, despite the fact that they were both still half-dressed. Almost immediately they were engulfed in hot steam and flowing water.

"Kanda!" Allen admonished, cringing as the water ran down his back and below his waistline. "We didn't bring a change of clothes!" He shuddered again, immensely grateful that he'd walked down from his room barefoot. He couldn't stand the thought of putting on wet boots afterwards.

"Well, we'd better get these off before they get any wetter then, hadn't we?" Kanda's hands moved to Allen's belt and unfastened it with a few well practised movements.

Allen rolled his eyes. "I'd have taken them off anyway; you didn't have to get them wet!" He kicked his sopping trousers across the shower floor, where they disappeared through the gap under the door. Kanda's followed soon after, thrown over the stall door and landing with a sodden splat on the tiles on the other side of it.

"Now that's much better" Kanda commented standing back and allowing his eyes to travel over Allen's exposed body critically.

Despite being with Kanda for months, Allen still managed to work up a blush under the scrutiny, something that Kanda (though he'd never admit it) found absolutely adorable.

Seeing the amused expression on his lover's face, Allen turned away and stood under the shower, looking up and allowing the water to run over his face, trying to disguise the blush under the scalding flow.

Kanda moved behind him, wrapping his arms around him and resting his chin on Allen's shoulder. Allen glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes but didn't say anything.

"You know," began the older man conversationally, "you'll never get clean that way." He reached over and retrieved the flannel and soap, working them together to create a rich foamy lather with he then proceeded to rub across Allen's chest in smooth circles.

Forgetting his annoyance immediately, Allen allowed his head to drop back onto Kanda's shoulder, leaning his head towards his lover's and loosing himself in the sensation of Kanda's hands moving lower on his body.

He gave a small gasp of surprise when Kanda fisted him, arching into the touch as Kanda began to move at a leisurely pace, just slow enough that Allen grew more and more frustrated.

"What are you doing, you sadist?" He arched again, attempting to quicken the pace himself, desperate for the release that Kanda seemed so intent on denying him.

"You're so impatient!" muttered Kanda in his ear, though he quickened his movement anyway, only to slow right down as soon as Allen thought he was getting somewhere.

"Kanda..." he meant it to sound like a warning, but it came out more as a needy whine. The older man chuckled darkly, but picked up the pace again, this time keeping it up as Allen moaned and writhed for him.

Allen closed his eyes and arched his back. The added friction from the flannel drove him closer to the edge with each stroke, and suddenly, without warning he reached his climax with a long drawn out moan. "Oh God…"

He barely had time to recover before Kanda had reached for the soap again, rubbing it between his wet hands. "Bend over" he ordered his younger lover, adjusting the flow of the shower to make it cooler as he spoke.

Allen didn't even think to argue, doing as he was bid straight away, watching Kanda over his shoulder with lust clouded eyes.

Kanda slipped a soap-slickened finger inside him, his other hand running reassuring circles over Allen's back as he moved it in and out. After so many months, it didn't take long before he could add another finger, then a third, moving them with skill and precision.

"Just do it!" groaned Allen as Kanda continued to tease him with his digits, making the older man grin, although he didn't listen to Allen's request. He was determined to make him really beg before long.

"You really _are_ impatient Moyashi" he commented dryly. "What is it you want?"

"Kanda…"

"I want to hear you say it first." Kanda accompanied this statement with an expert press of his finger, a teasing touch on the bundle of nerves that drove a high gasping moan from Allen's mouth and made it near impossible for him to think straight, never mind reply.

"I…ah…GOD! Dammit, Kanda!" Allen struggled to control his raged breathing, "For God's sake Kanda! Just do it! Stop teasing me! Fuck me already! Please!"

Finally satisfied, Kanda withdrew his fingers and lined himself up. With a smooth movement he sunk inside, pausing to make sure Allen was comfortable, but Allen had other ideas. He was through with waiting and being teased and jerked backwards, impaling himself.

"Jesus Moyashi!" Kanda hissed in surprise, closing his eyes to savour the sensation.

"Move, dammit!" Allen emphasised his point by rocking backwards, and Kanda willingly took up the pace.

Allen pressed his arms against the wall, bracing himself as Kanda pounded into him.

"So…close…" The samurai seemed to be loosing control, the previously smooth movement becoming jerky as he grunted with the effort of not loosing it _just_ yet.

He reached round and took hold of Allen again, pumping in time with each desperate thrust that hit that sweet spot again and again.

When Allen moaned his completion for the second time, the mere sound that he made snapped all of Kanda's control and he climaxed suddenly, with a deep groan that reverberated off the tiles.

They stayed that way for a couple of minutes, trying to get their breath back.

Still panting slightly, Kanda withdrew and turned Allen around, wrapping his arms around him once more and kissing him tenderly. Allen purred at the touch like a sated kitten.

"That was great," he murmured when the kiss ended, resting his head on the other's shoulder with a satisfied sigh.

Kanda laughed quietly. Allen wouldn't have known he was laughing if he didn't feel the vibrations against his chest.

"You're still a sadist though," Allen added as an afterthought, rubbing his cheek against Kanda's neck affectionately.

"It's just nice to hear how much you want me." Kanda trailed his hands absently over Allen's back, his fingers catching on the scars left from the Noah of Faith's knives.

Allen laughed. "Are you that insecure you need me to tell you that?" He pulled back, looking Kanda in the eyes. "There is only one person I could ever want, and that's you, and only you." He kissed him lightly, a soft brushing of lips. "And I don't ever want you to think anything else." He kissed him again, deeper this time, and felt Kanda's erection growing against his thigh. "Again, already?"

"What can I say; you just have that effect on me." Kanda pushed him back against the wall, lifting him up so Allen could wrap his legs around his waist, using gravity to gravity to almost drop Allen onto himself, forcing a loud noise that almost teetered on pain from the younger exorcists mouth.

"God, I love it when you're rough" Allen muttered as Kanda drove into him again, causing the dark-haired man to smirk in a self-satisfied way.

"And I love you, Moyashi."

The water was beginning to run cold as they finally cleaned up after a couple more rounds, during which time they found out just how flexible Allen really was and that even Kanda has his limits. Finally pushing open the stall door and slinging their towels around their waists and wrapping up their hair, the turned to pick up their wet clothes, only to find they had vanished.

"Um…" Allen glanced around, confused. "Everything's gone! Even my ribbon!"

"And my hair tie." Kanda was too worn out to get too annoyed, though if they didn't find the reason soon, he was sure he could dredge up the energy from somewhere.

"Lavi."

"Excuse me?"

Allen didn't reply, just pointed at the piece of paper lying innocently by the sink. It was recognisable as the thick type of parchment used by the bookman clan.

"Idiot Rabbit" commented Kanda, picking up the paper and reading it quickly. "He's so fucking dead. I'll kill him myself."

"What?" Allen looked over Allen's shoulder, scanning the Bookman apprentice's scrawl rapidly, and growing paler and paler the further he got. "Oh no, I'm killing him this time!"

'_Dear lovebirds,_

_Komui wanted to see you, so I came to fetch you…but you were busy. (Hehe) But don't worry, I explained everything to Komui and he said come up when you were…finished. _

_And I noticed your clothes were wet, so I took them to the laundry for you. Unfortunately, I couldn't get into your room to get some dry ones. Oh well…._

_Don't forget to clean up after yourselves now!'_

Kanda scrunched the parchment angrily in his fist. "He is so fucking dead" he said again.

Allen was about to reply when the door banged open, revealing a very, VERY angry looking Komui and Lavi, who was doubled over in gales of laughter.

Wordlessly, the supervisor marched into the room, glaring at the two exorcists, and handed them both a manky looking toothbrush each and thrusting a bottle of bleach into Allen's unresisting hands. Before he turned and walked away, he pointed a long finger at the couple. "Spotless!" he barked, still glowering. "Some people actually want to use this room for what is as designed for!" Then he stomped away, leaving a stunned Allen, a furious Kanda and a Lavi who looked like he was suffocating. He had turned bright red with laughter and was struggling to draw in air.

"Lavi! What did you bring Komui down here for?"

"I didn't! I just saw him heading in this direction and decided to follow. You're lucky you were out of the shower, I heard there was a robot ready for you if you were still at it!"

Kanda turned to Allen, a scowl on his face. "I told you I should have brought Mugen with me!"

Lavi grinned. "Aw, Yuu-chan, that's not a very nice thing to say! I'm rather lad Allen talked you out of it though, I'd rather like to keep my head."

Allen shook his head, a very Kanda-esque smirk forming on his face. "Lavi, Lavi, Lavi. Did you forget? Kanda might not have his innocence with him, but mine is permanently attached." And he activated his arm.

With a very girlish scream, Lavi turned and bolted.

* * *

Kanda looked at his toothbrush sullenly. "Damn idiot supervisor."

Allen looked up from where he was sloshing bleach around the cubicle. "It was worth it though."

"Definitely." Kanda looked smugly at him. "And now no one will ever use _my_ cubicle again."


	2. Stories are shared pt 1 Jim

**As you may have heard (though probably not) I have been in hospital for a few weeks over the summer, and the result, apart from**** the loss of weight due to the crapness of hospital food that I was forced to choke down (you are a diabetic and therefore need a healthy balanced hospital approved diet) is a selection of not very well planned and hastily scribbled one shots, short stories and… the dreaded sequel of doom. You have been warned. The next four installments all follow on from each other, and started when I was asked about Jim's background (and hey, being confined to a bed meant I had the time to think about it) and it kinda went on from there.**

**I DO NOT OWN!! NOPE!! NOT ME!!**

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Stories are shared

**Part I- Jim**

It was all quiet in the Order. For some reason there did not seem to be many missions taking place. None of the exorcists quite knew the reason for this, but no one was in the mood to argue with more time off, so everyone who was not out fighting the forces of evil was having a wonderful time lounging around the Order.

Unfortunately Kanda was one of the unlucky few that were required to go out on a mission meaning, Allen was, for the first time since they had made up, sleeping alone once more. And he hated it with a passion.

Currently he was sitting in the dining hall staring miserably at his still overflowing tray. It looked like he had not even attempted to eat any of the food piled in front

of him.

Lavi came and took a seat next to the very depressed general. "Hey Allen, are you doing OK?"

Allen glanced up at him slowly, before looking back down at his plate listlessly. "Yeah, I'm spectacular."

"I wondered of it was something serious. Jim looks like someone shot his grandmother or something. I thought everyone was happy about some time off."

Allen snorted at Lavi's comment. "I have no idea why Jim's upset, but I need a distraction, let's go and find out."

Lavi, always one to want to interfere in other people's business, leapt up immediately. "Sounds like a plan!" He paused momentarily, looking down at Allen's still full plate. "Aren't you going to eat that?" It was unheard of for Allen to not finish of whatever was put in front of him.

Allen shook his head. "Nope, I'm not that hungry." He looked almost longingly at the plate for a moment before snatching up a couple of bread rolls and shoving them in his mouth, where they filled his cheeks and made him look like a demented hamster. Lavi chuckled. "Well if that doesn't cheer Jim up, I don't know what will."

Allen tried to scowl, but his bulging cheeks made that impossible, so he settled for making an odd grumpy noise at the back of his throat, muffled by the bread and turning his back on the redhead. Lavi, recognising that Allen wasn't really annoyed with him, carried on laughing as he followed the flouncing general from the room.

If he'd have been less wary of Allen's innocence, he'd have voiced the observation that Allen was sometimes pissier than a hormonal woman.

* * *

Jim was sitting on the roof. It was perhaps not the safest of places to be sitting, due to the high winds and cold temperatures the topmost level of the Order was constantly battered by, but safety was the last thing on Jim's mind at the moment. He was deep in thought, his legs swinging precariously over the battlements; mindless to the tugs the wind kept giving his dangling limbs.

He felt a wetness on his face and looked up at the sky, expecting to see rain clouds overhead. It was overcast, but the sky was clear of rain. Angry with himself, Jim swiped at what he now realised were tears. He had just managed to wipe them all away when the roof door opened behind him. He stayed facing outwards, afraid he sill had the evidence that he was crying on his face.

Allen came and stood to his left, absently brushing some stray crumbs off of his front and he folded his arms on the battlement and settled his chin onto them, staring out into the distance in the same way as his student. Lavi appeared on the other side, standing in the same position as the general and keeping just as silent. Eventually Allen spoke, still not looking at the young boy. "How are you doing?" he asked and waited for his student to respond.

"Thinking," was all Jim said, not looking at either of the elder exorcists.

Allen or Lavi had not really expected a more detailed answer, and while it was dry, the roof was as good a place as any to hang out. Perhaps they could keep Jim company. Whatever he was thinking about, it must have been affecting him deeply. Neither exorcist had missed the evidence of tears on the tanned face of the boy.

"It's the anniversary of the shipwreck" Jim said presently, still not looking away from whatever point in the far distance held his eyes captive.

Allen said nothing. He knew all too well what the boy was probably thinking of. He rested one of his hands on Jim's shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze. Jim turned to face his general for the first time, and saw by the expression of sorrow in the deep grey eyes that Allen understood. Jim offered him a weak smile.

Lavi decided not to say anything. He hadn't got round to hearing Jim's background in detail, and his bookman's mind told him if he stayed silent and hoped that the others had forgotten he was there he might learn something interesting.

The rain had begun to fall in earnest and Jim turned his face upwards allowing the droplets to land on him.

"Perhaps it's time we headed inside" commented Lavi as the rain started to fall with more force than before.

Jim jumped in surprise as he seemed to have forgotten that the redhead was there, but nodded anyway. After all the rain did not look as if it was going to stop any time soon. He allowed Allen to guide him through the door and down the steps that lead to the roof still looking completely depressed.

* * *

The trio ended up sitting in Jim's room, much to Allen's distress. It seemed the boy could not learn to keep his bedroom clean, despite Allen's attempts to promote cleanliness.

"How do you feel now?" Lavi asked once they were semi dry and sort of comfortable.

Jim shrugged. "I'm alright as long as I don't think about it too much." His mouth twisted as though he tasted something bitter. "The problem is, I don't want to stop thinking about them, if I do, I might forget them completely."

Allen sighed, leaning his head back. "Thinking of your family shouldn't upset you. You've told me plenty of good memories from when you were growing up."

Jim shrugged, though he looked more than a little embarrassed. "The longer it is since the accident, the harder it gets to remember their faces or what their voices sounded like…"

The others fell silent at this, both lost in their own thoughts. Presently Lavi spoke up again. "What was your family like?" He sounded genuinely interested.

Jim paused to consider this, a small smile playing on his face. "My mum was really strict and proper. She hated us misbehaving and getting dirty. I think she thought children were something to be kept neat and tidy and to show off to your friends. Oh, she loved us, I knew that," Jim said when he saw the expressions on his audiences faces, "it's just that she was really old fashioned, you know, 'children should be seen and not heard' and all that." Jim paused again, chuckling at some long forgotten memory. "My dad was completely different. I think he was a bigger kid than either of us. He was always playing games with us, encouraging us to get dirty and taking all the blame when mum shouted at us…" Another small smile. "He was always coming up with new games for us to play, or taking us out on trips, or fishing. He was a great dad."

Allen smiled sympathetically, but neither he nor Lavi said anything as Jim faded into silence, lost amongst his memories. Eventually though, Allen spoke up, worried that Jim would fall back into depression if left to wander down memory lane alone for too long. "What about your brother?"

Jim's faint smile vanished instantly. "He was the best little brother in the world. Danny was two years younger than me, and used to follow me everywhere. I could never get rid of him!" He sniffed faintly. "I used to shout at him about it. I wish I hadn't now. I shouted at him just before the wreck for it. That's why…that's why…when the boat went down, I couldn't see him…I'd upset him, he'd gone to hide from me…I couldn't find him anywhere…and the storm…the waves…the rain…it was so dark. I was only seven; I could hardly swim myself…" He swiped his hand across his eyes, brushing away the moisture that had gathered there. "I was such a bad brother."

Allen frowned. "I'm sure you weren't. I bet you were a great brother."

"Well…he did tell me once…"

* * *

"_Jimmy! Jimmy, wait! Wait for me!" The small chunky legs of the five year old boy struggled to catch up to his older brother. _

_Rolling his eyes, the older boy stood still, the wind lifting his wavy blond hair off his face, revealing dark chocolaty brown eyes that gazed fondly at the stumbling figure of his little brother. The younger finally caught up, raising identical liquid brown eyes to his brother's face. "You're too fast!" he pouted._

_Jim grinned. "No, you're too slow. You can't keep up on those dumpy legs." His smile faded as his little brother's eyes filled with tears. "Danny, don't cry! I'm sorry!" He crouched down to the smaller boy's level, wrapping his arms around him, all the while looking around incase his parents were within earshot. "Danny! Stop crying! I didn't mean to upset you! I just meant that you're smaller than me! You are, you're younger after all!"_

_The crying did not stop, nor did it lessen at all. In fact, if anything, it actually got louder._

"_Daniel Jonathon Harvey!"_

_Immediately the tears stopped and Danny blinked up at his brother in surprise. Only their mother ever used their full names. "What?"_

"_I wanted you to shut up. Come on. We better get back before mum throws a fit."_

"_And why would I do that?" The firm, sharp voice of Eileen Harvey cut across them, making Jim wince guiltily. "Could it be the fact that I expressly forbade you from wandering off? Or the fact that you dragged your little brother along with you? You are possibly the worst brother in the history of the world! What if something had happened to him?"_

"_I didn't drag him anywhere! He followed me on his own, like he always does!"_

"_James William Harvey!" she snapped in much the same fashion as he had only minutes before._

_Jim scowled but didn't dare say anything more while his mother was in this mood. Instead he crouched down for Danny to climb onto his back and starting back down the path they had walked up earlier, avoiding his mother's furious gaze by keeping his head down, hiding behind his fair hair._

_Danny wrapped his arms around Jim's neck, squeezing in a comforting gesture. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get you into trouble," he whispered, eager for forgiveness._

_Jim bounced him up and down on his back, making the smaller boy laugh, and grinning at him while he knew their mother couldn't see. "S'ok. Was my fault anyway." He huffed a little, shifting the weight of his brother so he was easier to carry. "You're really heavy for such a little guy!"_

_Danny patted Jim's head fondly. "If you weren't so runty, you'd have no trouble carrying me."_

"_Don't make me drop you."_

_Danny laid his head against the back of Jim's shoulder with a contented sigh. "I don't think you're the worst brother in the hist'ry of the world." He mumbled sleepily. "You're the best big brother ever."_

* * *

Jim smiled happily at the memory. "He was the best little brother ever."

To avert another tearful moment Lavi wrapped his arm around Allen's shoulders and dragged him to his side, rubbing his head fondly. "Oh, I dunno, my little brother's pretty special."

Allen tore himself free from Lavi's grasp, frantically combing his hair back to some sense of normalcy with his fingers while both Jim and Lavi had a good laugh at his expense.

"Come on, I'm starving, let's go down to the dining hall."

"Why? Want to show Jim your hamster impression?" Lavi seemed to sense the danger and side stepped the punch Allen sent his way, cackling madly as the angry General and his student chased after him.


	3. Stories are shared pt 2 Allen

**So, the second installment of this little…thing. This time, it's Allen's turn.**

**AGAIN SAY I, I DO NOT OWN!**

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Part II- Allen

"So, Moyashi-chan…" Lavi stretched out lazily on the ground where he was relaxing.

Allen opened one eye and gave Lavi a half hearted glare, before sighing and closing it again. "Why are you here Lavi?"

"I'm here to make sure you don't emo yourself to death."

That made Allen frown, though he didn't open his eyes. Eventually though the sentence proved too much for his curiosity and he rolled over to face Lavi. "What on Earth is THAT supposed to mean?"

Lavi stretched languorously, like a cat. "Well, you're here, alone, moping…"

Allen laughed despite himself. "I am not moping! That makes me sound like some lovesick schoolgirl!"

"You miss Yuu-chan, you're sitting out here in the clearing where he usually trains, where you first got it together, you look utterly miserable…and you're not moping?"

Allen snorted and turned away. "No, I'm not" he snapped waspishly. "Now will you leave me alone?

"Nope." Lavi seemed completely unabashed by his frosty reception.

Allen rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine!" And he proceeded to sit hunched against a tree sending everything that fell into his line of sight a scorching death-glare.

Lavi was starting to wonder if this was such a good idea when there was a sound of crashing through the trees and Jim and Lenalee came flying through the bushes, landing sprawled in the middle of the clearing.

Allen stood up in surprise, raising an eyebrow at the sight. "What's going on?"

Lavi hauled himself from the pile of leaves that had covered him upon the other exorcist's arrival. "What the hell was that all about!?"

Lenalee was the first to recover, accepting Allen's proffered hand to help her stand. "It's my brother!" She sounded exasperated. "He's actually gone crazy!"

"What? What do you mean?"

"Buh…buh…buh…Ko…Ko…at…attacked…" Jim stuttered, drawing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

"Komui attacked you?" asked Lavi, looking very confused.

"No, not my brother, his robot." Lenalee sighed heavily. "Something to do with controlling growing boy's hormones…"

The three gathered males all shivered involuntarily at the thought of what this could involve. Then Lavi grinned. "Well, I am no longer a growing boy. At nearly twenty-two, it is highly unlikely I'm going to grow anymore." He looked around. "And I don't think Komui is too worried about you hitting on Lenalee either Moyashi. Yuu-chan too, so I guess you're both safe." He turned to look at Jim, an evil expression on his face. "Just you then Birdy-chan!"

Jim shuddered. "I know."

"That's why we came out here, Jim was Komurin um…XV's is it? first victim. I had to distract brother so Jim could get out."

Lavi patted Jim on the head consolingly. "Never mind Birdy-chan, I'm sure it won't work. Komui's experiments rarely do."

Allen tried not to think about his own experiences with the robots predecessors. "I'd go and give Komui a piece of my mind about using you in his experiments if…"

"…if you weren't afraid he'd use you instead" finished Lenalee with a grin and Allen nodded, only looking slightly abashed by the admission.

"I think we'd better stay here for a while until Reever gets some people together to destroy that thing."

The others all agreed with Lavi, except Lenalee who volunteered to go back inside to keep watch and come and tell them when the coast was clear.

Allen was all for going back to 'moping' as Lavi put it, but the other two had other ideas.

"So Allen, I've been dying to know since you came back, what did you get up to in all those months you were traveling around? You must have done something exciting."

Jim agreed. "I saw the damage you left behind, so I know there's some story to be told."

Allen shook his head. "It wasn't a good time for me. I'd rather not talk about it."

Lavi shrugged. "We have to talk about something!"

Suddenly Allen grinned. "One thing that Yuu's been asking me for a while is where I learned a few of my more…devious moves."

Jim wasn't sure he wanted to know where this conversation was going, however Lavi was leaning forwards eagerly. "Come on, share! I need something to tease Yuu-chan with when he gets back."

Jim shook his head. He hardly thought that Lavi needed any help annoying Kanda, especially anything of this nature.

"It's all Cross' fault."

Both Lavi and Jim stared at Allen's almost smug face.

"Cross…he…you...?"

"Ew! Gross! No way!" Allen looked repulsed. "I mean, it was Cross' fault, but not because…" he shuddered as though the thought were too unpleasant to bear thinking about. "No, it was because he spent so much time in brothels himself. While he was upstairs being entertained…I was usually down in the bar…"

* * *

"_I win again!" Allen laid his cards out happily and began raking the money towards him__ under the suspicious gaze of the other players. He gathered the cards and started to shuffle them expertly, riffling the deck between his skilled hands and cutting them, ready to deal again. "Another game gentlemen?" he offered._

_Some of the men grumbled. They had come here to spend their money on alcohol and whores, not lose it in a poker game against a boy barely into his teens. They had entered into the first game thinking it would be an easy win. The boy was small and looked out of place in the crowded smoky bar. After the boy had won the first game (a fluke, they assured themselves) they began another, then another. There was no way this boy was beating them fairly, but for the life of them, they just could not catch him in the act of cheating._

_At the invitation to begin again, half the players beat a hasty retreat away from the table and the poker-demon, cleverly disguised as a thirteen year old boy with oddly bright white hair and a scar running down his face, that ruled over it. A few braver men agreed to another game, and smiling pleasantly, Allen dealt them in._

_The bar had closed some time ago, but his master was being entertained by the owner of the establishment, so there was no closing time for him. Allen sat on one of the tables, swinging his legs idly and thumbing through his deck for lack of something better to do._

"_Hey Honey! Your master still upstairs with Annabelle?" Kirsty came down the stairs, untying her long blonde hair from the complicated hairstyle as she walked before taking a seat at the table on which Allen sat. _

"_Yeah. He seems to be taking longer this time. I reckon he'll be here all night." Allen reshuffled the cards gloomily._

_Kirsty nodded sympathetically. "I hear you're about to move on. Anna will want him for as long as possible if that's the case."_

_Allen grunted noncommittally. In truth he wasn't sure what his master's plans were. Besides getting drunk and having sex with as many high-class whores as possible in each town of course._

_Another pair of prostitutes entered the bar, looking exhausted._

"_Oh, I didn't know you were down here Sugar, I'd have come to keep you company earlier," the brunette said, throwing herself down with casual grace into an empty chair. Allen smiled cheerfully at her. Despite being treated as the scum of the earth by the rest of society, Allen found these whores, no matter what their situation, to be charming and delightful women. Came as part of the job he supposed._

_The youngest of the three, a girl only a few years older than Allen himself came over from behind the bar with a bottle of some amber liquid and three glasses, and another glass of orange juice. All the ladies of Belle's who knew Allen knew better than to offer him alcohol._

"_So, how much did you make tonight?" she asked taking one of the two empty seats at the table. Allen slid off the table itself and sat on the other one, accepting his orange juice with thanks._

"_I did rather well tonight. Made about sixteen thousand and most of that was from one guy who couldn't believe I could keep winning."_

"_No wonder business was slow tonight Emma, Allen's been fleecing all the customers!" the one named Kirsty exclaimed, though there was no malice in her words._

_Emma, the brunette laughed, "better not let your master have all of that Allen Sugar, you'll not see a penny of it again if you do."_

_Allen smiled. "Don't worry, I can look after myself."_

_An hour or so of friendly conversation followed, during which time the three whores made a sizable dent in the quantity of whiskey that Jenny, the youngest had brought over. Allen found himself almost dozing when a loud thump was heard from above, followed by the unmistakable voice of exorcist General Cross Marion._

"_Good God alive woman! Do you enjoy torturing me?"_

_Allen raised his eyebrows. Obviously his master couldn't be in so much trouble he could still shout abuse. Not that he sounded as though whatever had happened was something he was opposed to._

"_Annabelle's up to her old tricks again" Kirsty commented with a small hiccup._

"_Tricks?" Allen knew as soon as he'd opened his mouth he shouldn't have said anything, as three pairs of eyes turned on him, pinning him to his seat with the force of their gaze._

"_Jenny, you could always show Allen some of those tricks, couldn't you?"_

_The young woman looked Allen up and down hungrily. "It would be my pleasure." And she grasped Allen by the wrist and hauled him, protesting, up the stairs._

"_This is very nice of you Jenny but I…I couldn't…I…"_

_Jenny smiled kindly. "I know, I'm not going to do anything to you that you don't want. I just thought, maybe…"_

_Allen raised a questioning eyebrow, still wondering of he should make a break for it._

_Jenny flushed a little. "Some of the men that come to places like this, they're real pigs. It would be nice if more were gentlemanly and polite like you. It would make this rotten existence more bearable."_

_Allen decided he was probably safe for now and sat down on the edge of the bed._

"_It's nice to be around someone who sees you as a person." He said, not meeting her eyes as he played nervously with his left glove. She took his hands in hers. _

"_You're a really nice person Allen, a great friend. If there's anything I can do for you…" she moved her hand to his fly, trying to catch his eye as she did so. He caught her hand and held it still, away from his body, eventually looking into her eyes. "I really appreciate it, and I'm glad you consider me your friend, but I don't want this, really…I…" he flushed bright red and fidgeted awkwardly. He lowered his voice to a whisper and leaned forward, as though terrified to be overheard. "I don't like women."_

_Her eyes widened fractionally, then she grinned. "You have just become my most favorite male in the universe!" she squealed, flinging her arms around him. "Well, if I can't help you out the traditional way, maybe I can pass on some knowledge instead…come here, and I'll tell you all about the tricks of the trade…"_

* * *

Jim and Lavi stared at him open mouthed. Lavi's mouth moved a couple of times like a goldfish before he swallowed and managed to speak. "You learned all about sex from high-end prostitutes and YOU NEVER HAD SEX WITH ANY OF THEM?" He almost sounded outraged.

Allen raised his eyebrows quizzically. "Lavi…would you do it with a man just because he was expensive and offering to do you for free?"

Lavi considered this for mere seconds before nodding sharply. "Yep."


	4. Stories are shared pt 3 Lavi

**Part III- Lavi**

Lenalee came out an hour or so later to find Allen and Jim still sitting frozen in shock and Lavi fast asleep. Apparently he'd had some fun before dozing off though- both Allen and Jim's faces were covered in Lavi's trademark doodles.

"Um…the robot's been demolished."

No response.

"I said your gonads are safe. The robot's been destroyed."

Nothing. Not a flicker.

"HEY!"

Lavi opened an eye blearily. "Oh, is it safe now?"

"Yes! That's what I just said. Come on, let's go inside."

Lavi got to his feet and started to follow Lenalee, but she stopped suddenly. "What's up with them?"

"I think I scarred them for life. They'll be fine if we leave them here for a bit."

"Oh. I just thought Allen should know Kanda's back…that's how the robot got destroyed."

"He should come round if you tell him that. Watch this." Lavi crept to Allen's side and crouched down next to him. "Hey, Moyashi-chan. Yuu-chan's home."

Allen blinked suddenly, turning to face Lavi, his eyes shining with excitement. "Really?" He suddenly realized how close he was to Lavi and scuttled back warily. Lavi laughed. "I'm not about to jump you! Come on; let's get you back to lover-boy."

Allen hauled himself to his feet, and after a moment of thought lifted a still dazed Jim up too, supporting him as they made their back into headquarters.

* * *

Kanda was lying exhausted on the bed when Allen let himself into their room. He hadn't even stopped to take his boots off before collapsing, Allen noticed, approaching the bed as silently as possible.

"Don't even think about it Moyashi."

Allen snorted inelegantly. "I thought you were asleep."

"I was waiting for you."

Allen fought down the blush (_why? Why did he still blush when Yuu said things like that to him?_) and sat on the edge of the bed, working Kanda's boots off before removing his own. He finally lay back with a contented sigh, curling up against Kanda who was already nearly asleep.

"How was the mission?"

Kanda sighed, as though debating what to say. "I'm glad you weren't there."

Which meant it had been a difficult, probably dangerous mission that had resulted in the deaths of many innocent people and maybe a couple of finders to boot. Allen hugged Kanda closer. "I'm just glad you came back safely. I've been really worried."

"Baka Moyashi. You shouldn't worry about me."

"Well you don't worry about yourself, so someone has to. Now shush and get some sleep, you look shattered."

"Hmm." Allen felt Kanda's arm wrap tighter around him and eventually they both drifted off.

* * *

It had begun to rain. And not just any old rain either. This was definite rain as Jim said. What that actually meant, nobody could put into words, but they all agreed, it was definite rain. And there was a lot of it. A weeks worth of rain fell in mere hours, immediately drenching anyone who attempted to step outside. All non-essential missions were suspended, meaning everyone was confined inside headquarters, and they were all feeling miserable, cramped and irritable.

Allen thought that with everyone's temper running high, keeping Kanda away from the general populous would be the prudent course of action. If this happened to mean that he got his lover to himself, then that was just a coincidence. Yeah right. Allen had spent those six long months traveling alone, and tried to ignore the constant dull ache that resided in his chest, and eventually was able to ignore it, but now he was back at the order, where he belonged, he would do anything to prevent that feeling taking up residence again, and if that meant not leaving Kanda's side, then so be it.

He had been lying awake for some time now, watching the rain running down the window, knowing that at some point he was going to have to get up and eat something, but the air in the room was cold, and it was so deliciously warm under the covers pressed up against Kanda's body that he couldn't bring himself to move just quite yet. His stomach however had other plans, and rumbled loudly, disrupting the early morning peace and quiet. Kanda groaned as he rolled over. "Are you always hungry?"

"Not always" Allen muttered a little huffily, trying to snuggle back down and ignore his stomach. It wouldn't be ignored. "I'm going for some breakfast" he grumbled, climbing out of bed quickly so as to not let the cold air under the covers. Kanda rolled his eyes. "Wait, I'll come with you."

Allen smiled happily, tugging at his wrinkled shirt ineffectually. He was planning on going straight back to bed after he'd eaten and didn't see the point in getting changed. Kanda seemed to have the same idea.

* * *

Half an hour later Kanda was sitting patiently sipping tea while Allen made his way through his fourth plate of bacon and eggs, accompanied by a vast amount of toast. The dining hall was quite crowded, it seemed like everyone had gathered there for lack of something better to do.

"YUU-CHAN!!" Lavi's voice echoed across the dining hall which suddenly became hushed.

"Good morning Lavi." Allen looked up briefly from his breakfast to greet his friend before delving back in. Kanda merely rolled his eyes, silently cursing the fact that he'd left the room in such a rush he'd not picked Mugen up from its spot on the bedside table.

Lavi sat down next to the couple, grinning first at Kanda, then at Allen, winking at the general before turning his lecherous grin on the other exorcist.

"Lavi…" Allen warned quietly, he had a feeling he knew what this was about.

"He deserves to know, Moyashi-chan. Then he knows who to send the thank you letters and the flowers to."

Kanda scowled. He had the distinct impression he was missing out on something.

"No, Lavi."

"But…"

"No."

Kanda frowned at Allen, who was still glaring at Lavi as though trying to set him on fire with the force of his eyes.

"Moyashi? Is there something you need to tell me?"

Allen flushed scarlet and looked at Kanda briefly before returning his gaze to his lap. "Not here there isn't."

Kanda raised his eyebrows, but shrugged. Lavi looked a little put out. "Are you really going to tell him?" He sounded doubtful.

Allen smiled. "Of course, I don't keep any secrets from Yuu. It's nothing to worry about" he added seeing the look of concern on Kanda's face. Whatever was going on was intriguing him and Allen could tell he was starting to get restless. He stood abruptly, abandoning the rest of his breakfast. "Well I'm done. Shall we?" He offered his hand to Kanda who took it immediately and allowed himself to be led from the room.

"Damn" Lavi muttered. "I was looking forward to holding that over Yuu-chan's head."

* * *

"That's it?"

"I told you it wasn't anything to worry about."

Kanda lay back down, pulling Allen with him. Their shirts had long since been discarded.

Allen ran his hand over Kanda's chest, brushing his palm across his nipples which momentarily distracted Kanda from where he was fumbling with the fastenings on Allen's trousers.

"Dammit, stop doing that and help me out here!" he hissed as Allen ran his tongue across his collarbone, causing a trail of goosebumps to rise over his skin.

Allen gave a small laugh and relented, helping Kanda to rid them both of their remaining clothes. As soon as they were both naked Allen rolled on top of Kanda, licking a path down his body.

"I've missed you." Kanda said, making Allen pause and raise his head.

"Me or this?"

"A little of both" Kanda admitted, then smirked "but mostly this."

"Jerk."

With a swift movement Kanda reversed their positions. "You, you idiot," he said fondly.

* * *

Kanda lay completely boneless on the bed, covered in a faint sheen of sweat and panting rapidly. "Holy shit Moyashi. I think I'd better send those thank you notes Lavi mentioned."

Allen chuckled quietly. "Jenny would be pleased I put her lessons to good use." He snuggled closer. "Speaking of which, Lavi couldn't believe I spent all that time with those prostitutes and not slept with any of them."

"Tch, just because he'd jump anything if given half the chance, doesn't mean we all would."

"That's just it. He said I should have…because they were high-class whores offering themselves for free, and when I asked if he'd do a man in that situation…he said yes."

Kanda raised an eyebrow. "Well…that would explain a lot."

"What do you mean? Has Lavi come onto you?" Allen sat up, looking suddenly very worried.

Kanda pulled him back down with a swift tug on his hair. "Well…"

"_And this is the headquarters of the Black Order. This will be your home while you're not on missions." The frizzy haired general pushed his glasses up his nose and looked down at the grouchy Japanese boy clutching a sword far too long for him and smiled kindly. "So Yuu-kun, what do you think?"_

"_Tch." The boy didn't look too impressed with either the building or the way that the general was talking to him, looking around with suspicious dark eyes, taking in the surroundings with a critical eye_

_Tiedoll shook his head indulgently. "Come on Yuu-kun, let's go and see the supervisor and introduce you to the rest of the family."_

_Kanda frowned "I don't have any family." His tone suggested he was happy that way._

_Tiedoll sighed and put a hand on Kanda's shoulder, patting him gently. "Everyone here is family Yuu-kun. Don't worry, you'll soon get used to it."_

"_Tch."_

_Lavi was crossing the entrance hall when he saw the returning general and his students. Particularly the tall slim Japanese girl with the amazingly long hair tied back in a high pony tail. He started to approach them, intent on greeting this foreign beauty._

_As he came closer he saw the dark blue, almost black eyes of the girl narrow distrustfully and her grip on the sword she clutched to her chest tightened._

'_So cute!' thought Lavi as he stopped in front of her. "Hello. My name's Lavi. What's yours?"_

"…"

_Lavi raised an eyebrow. "You do speak English, don't you?"_

_The girl just tightened her grip on the sword, her eyes showing nothing but distain and anger._

_Not put off, Lavi tried again, swinging his arm around the girl's shoulders. "You'll love it here! We're going to be great friends! I hope we get to go on missions together, you're such a babe!"_

_Kanda froze, face livid. "What did you say to me?" he whispered dangerously, but Lavi, being Lavi did not pay any attention to the warning tone._

"_What, has no one told you how pretty you are before?" he sounded genuinely surprised and Kanda found himself blushing for some reason, which Lavi found incredibly cute._

"_Of course not!" huffed Kanda trying fruitlessly to extract himself from Lavi's grip. _

"_Well they should have done! You are! So what's your name?"_

"_Kanda." Said person responded grudgingly, finally able to get away from Lavi's grip. _

_Lavi grinned. "Does that come with a first name?"_

_Kanda scowled and reluctantly said "Yuu." He noticed the old general standing to one side talking to a Chinese man in a beret who had a girl younger than Kanda or Lavi standing at his side. When she saw him watching she gave him a small wave. Lavi saw him looking. "That's the supervisor and his little sister Lenalee. She'll be really happy there's another girl here now for her to talk to."_

_Kanda turned in a slow motion movement to look disbelievingly at Lavi, before looking around just in case he'd missed something. "What?" Now he understood what the redhead had been saying earlier, and he shuddered at the thought. He'd been hitting on him…because he thought he was a girl._

"_Well now that you're here…" Lavi didn't get to finish his sentence as with a clatter the sword was dropped to the floor forgotten, and Kanda threw a punch at him, knocking to the ground_

_Lavi rubbed his chin. "That's some punch. But it wasn't very lady-like you know"_

"_I'm only going to tell you this once, you stupid, idiotic rabbit. I AM A GUY." And picking up the fallen sword Kanda stomped away, ponytail swinging violently. _

* * *

"So he pretends that he thought you were a girl?"

"Tch. I looked nothing like a girl. There's no way he didn't know." Kanda's face was a bit flushed, though whether from embarrassment or anger Allen didn't know.

"Of course not" he said soothingly "if you did, then why would I be here?"

Kanda looked at him suspiciously, as though wondering whether Allen was mocking him. He seemed satisfied by what he saw. "Hm."

Allen smiled to himself, and then frowned as a thought crossed his mind. "Why doesn't he want to jump me?"


	5. Stories are shared pt 4 Kanda

**The final installment of "Stories are shared" Yes I know they have been random, but that's the way it goes. I'll soon be back at uni with more free time, so hopefully I can get more fiction done. This one's only a little one (I'm getting tired of sitting at a desk…I miss the whole slobbing in bed typing thing I had going before…****) This is the same story that Lavi told Allen waaaaay back in chapter 4 (I think) of ATW. Just so you know.**

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* * *

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Part IV- Kanda

Lavi stared out of the window gloomily, drawing faces in the condensation that was fogging it up.

Lenalee rolled her eyes. "Please don't do that Lavi, you're making my windowsill damp."

"I can't believe it's STILL raining!" Jim huffed. "And I can't believe Allen and Kanda haven't been seen in days. Nobody has THAT much stamina!"

"Jealous Birdy-chan?" Lavi laughed turning away from the window in time to dodge the pillow that Jim lobbed at his head.

"What is it with you people and my pillows?" asked Lenalee exasperatedly as she picked up the fallen object from the floor and replaced it on her bed.

"Sorry Lenalee." Jim activated his innocence and materialized a new pillow to attack Lavi with, advancing on him menacingly.

"Now, now Birdy-chan, no need to get violent."

It was only after Lenalee threatened to kick them out of her room that they both settled down.

"Lavi, about what you said to Allen the other day…" Both Lenalee and Lavi looked up curiously. "Did you mean it?"

"Which part? The bit where I said I'd screw a man or the bit where I said I wouldn't jump Allen?"

"Lavi?" Lenalee wasn't quite sure whether she should be laughing or not. "You said what?"

"It's all true, I admit it. I meant every word!" Lavi declared.

"So all this time you've been yelling 'STRIKE!' at random women, it was all a lie?"

Lavi looked positively scandalized. "Of course not! I appreciate beautiful people, no matter what their gender."

Jim slapped his hand to his forehead. "That," he said firmly, "was the most ridiculous way of saying that you're a bisexual that I have ever heard."

Lavi pretended to be insulted. "I may be bi, but I knew Yuu-chan was about as straight as a circle the very first time I saw him."

"No you didn't" countered Lenalee. "The first time you saw him you thought he was a girl and glomped him."

"Oh, yeah… the second time then…"

"Didn't you tell him it was his own fault for having long hair and a girly face? And he tried to make to eat Mugen when you called him Yuu-chan?"

Lavi grinned, "you say that like nothings changed."

Lenalee cocked her head to one side thoughtfully. "I think it might have been when you put make up on him and told him you'd do him if he stood still long enough."

Lavi laughed. "He didn't seem too adverse to the idea did he? Even if he was embarrassed."

Jim's jaw dropped. "You put make up on KANDA? And you're still ALIVE!?"

"You should see the photo" Lenalee added rooting in her drawers for something. "Ah, here we go…" she handed the photograph to Jim who struggled to keep from laughing. "I can see why you call him Yuu-_chan_" he sniggered. "How did you manage that?"

"Well actually, it was quite easy…"

* * *

"_Oh come on Lenalee, he looks like a girl! How was I supposed to know he wasn't with all that long hair?"_

_Lenalee whacked Lavi across the back of the head. "You're so mean Lavi! Poor Kanda, all the way from home with no family. I bet he's really lonely…"_

"_Nah, he's too anti-social. He wouldn't act like that if he wanted friends." _

_Lenalee didn't look convinced, but Lavi pressed on with the earlier topic. "I bet I can prove that Yuu-chan would make a totally sexy girl."_

"_And how do you think you can do that?" Lenalee had to admit she was slightly intrigued by this idea._

"_Well he's already got the cute face, the girly hair style… I think all it really needs is a new wardrobe…so I need your help…"_

_Lenalee sighed, knowing there was nothing she could do to change Lavi's mind now that it had been made up. "Alright, alright. What do you want me to do?"_

_

* * *

_

Kanda stretched and got out of bed almost as soon as he opened his eyes. The clock on his bedside table informed him it was just after 5am. Perfect, he didn't even need to set an alarm any more, he was that used to early starts. He dressed quickly; taking the sword that was leaning by his bed and strapping it to his waist. He loved this sword, now more than ever. It had once belonged to his father, but now it was his, his innocence. He was glad the strange cube had taken up residence in this sword and not some of the other less quality weapons that had been stored at the temple. Ignoring the protest from his empty stomach, which was only half hearted at best, as though it knew how futile any hopeful gurgle would be, he stalked to the door, pulling his long dark hair up into a pony tail as he went. That done, he yanked the door open with a little more force than necessary and strode in the direction of the main doors, heading out to the forest where he had decided to start his daily training. The corridors of the Order were deserted. It was shaping up to be a perfect day.

* * *

"_I haven't seen him yet!" Lenalee snapped when Lavi approached her with a questioning look on his face. "But it is only 7am! Most normal people are only just getting up!" She was not in a good mood, she was tired and irritable after not much sleep._

_Lavi grinned at her, looking bright and chirpy despite the late night. "Yuu is not normal. He gets up at 5 every morning to start training, but I thought he'd be done by now. And I can't find him in any of the training rooms."_

"_That shows what you know. He doesn't train inside, he uses the forest, I heard General Tiedoll telling my brother."_

"_See, he's really not normal. I wonder how much loner we'll have to wait."_

_

* * *

_

Kanda was getting very annoyed. He had just come in from the forest to find the hallways and corridors filled with people. People who were giving him funny looks and whispering behind their hands. He hoped they were talking about how scary he was, after all he had nearly killed that idiot rabbit boy the other day when he called him Yuu-chan. He shuddered at the nickname. He really would kill Lavi the next time he heard him use his first name, stupid girly honorific attached or not. He smirked to himself at the memory of how close he came to shoving his beloved sword down the redhead's throat.

_Somehow though, he doubted that was what all the people were talking about. He caught a finder's eye in time to see the beige robed man turn away with a ridiculous grin on his face. Just what in the name of all that was sane was going on?_

_His stomach growled again, determined not to be ignored any more, and he turned a corner and headed to the dining hall, where that idiotic pink haired man would be waiting to coo over him. No matter how intense a death-glare Jerry received, he didn't seem to learn his lesson. Unfortunately, or fortunately in Jerry's case, Kanda couldn't kill him, since he was the only one who could make satisfactory Japanese cuisine in this whole madhouse._

_As he walked down the aisle between tables towards the hatch he noticed that everyone's eyes were following him, and people were (rather unsuccessfully) concealing smiles behind their hands. Whatever was going on, he was sure Lavi had something to do with it. He just didn't know what 'it' was._

"_Here he comes" whispered Lavi excitedly. "You remember what you have to say?"_

"_Yes Lavi" replied Lenalee with the tone of someone who had answered the same question numerous times before._

_Kanda dumped his tray unceremoniously on the table and sat down, poking at his breakfast m moodily. "What?" he snapped when he saw Lenalee and Lavi watching him. The girl looked nervous, but there was a mischievous twinkle in the redhead's single eye that he didn't like at all._

"_If you wanted to try on my make-up you only had to ask" Lenalee said bluntly, quirking an eyebrow at him._

"_What?" he asked again, confused. The Chinese girl passed him a small mirror. "It looks really good. Pink is really your colour."_

_Kanda hardly dared look. When he did he saw a pretty Japanese girl looking back at him, dark eyelashes lengthened with mascara and a dusting of glittery pink eye shadow smeared across his eyelids. Apart from the fact that the make up was a little smudged thanks to the rigorous training he had done that morning, it was clear it had been painstakingly applied. No wonder he'd bee attracting some funny looks. He glanced up and saw Lavi trying to control himself as laughter threatened to overwhelm him and choke him to death. If only, Kanda thought savagely, suddenly very grateful that he was still carrying Mugen. And Lavi hadn't noticed. He freed the blade from the sheath silently, laying it across his knees as he passed Lenalee her mirror back, still saying nothing. "You make a really hot girl, Yuu-chan" said Lavi, cocking his head to one side and shamelessly staring at Kanda's body. "I'd totally do you if you stood still long enough." Lavi still hadn't noticed the danger. In fact the first warning he had was when his bandana fluttered in front of his face, sliced neatly by the Japanese katana. "You are so dead" Kanda told him, his dark eyes deadly serious. "But I need more training, you have ten seconds to run… ten."_

_Lavi looked at him, wide-eyed. "You can't be serious!"_

"_I am. Nine."_

"_No wait a minute…it was just a joke."_

"_Ha ha. Eight."_

"_Lenalee was involved too!"_

"_I don't fight girls. Seven."_

_Lavi, looking seriously worried now, started to back away, looking around for an escape route._

"_Six."_

"_You wouldn't really hurt me, would you?"_

"_Yes. Five."_

"_Yuu…"_

"_Don't call me that. Three."_

"_You missed out four…"_

"_No, you used my first name, so you lost a second. Two."_

"_That's not fair!"_

"_I gave you the chance to run, you haven't taken it. One."_

"_Shit." Lavi turned and began to sprint from the dining hall, arms flailing and screaming like a little girl._

"_Time's up." Kanda commented as he charged after Lavi._

_No one ever brought up the make up incident again, because Kanda was not someone to cross, whether he was wearing pink eye shadow or not._

* * *

Jim roared with laughter. "What did he do to you?"

Lavi muttered something and turned red.

"He gave him a haircut, Mugen style" Lenalee told him.

"I was lucky it was just a haircut, he was aiming for full on decapitation, but I ducked just in time_."_

"How did you get away?"

"A Komurin came to my rescue. Or rather to Yuu's rescue. The blasted machine thought he was a damsel in distress and tried to rescue him. That's how I escaped. By the time Yuu had got away from the robot, he was so angry at Komui he forgot all about me."

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There you go then, the last installment. Now go little readers, go and read Changing Lives!! I need more reviews to make me want to walk up that stinking hill to get on the internet to post more chapters!!

**LO****VAGE!!**


	6. Lavi's 21st

**Well, way back in chapter 34, there was mention of Lavi's twenty-first birthday party, which involved General Cross, and strippers. Well after drinking excessive amounts of alcohol last night (encouraged by Kiracookies- yes, I'm blaming you!) I had an attack of the plot bunnies, who hauled me away from ATW and made me write this. But never fear, I'm also putting 38 up, which I suggest you go back and read that first if you haven't already, otherwise there are parts of this that won't make sense.  
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**To anyone who hasn't read A Twisted World yet GO DO IT!! No, seriously. Well you could read this, but as the overlying plot won't make sense, and you don't know the OCs, it might make you go a little batty**.

**As always, Rika owns this storyline, but not the characters. Except for Seren and Jim (is thinking of starting a James Harvey fan club)**

**Lavi's 21****st**

"I don't know if anyone's really in the mood for a party, brother. Especially Lavi. He's been hit really hard by Allen's disappearance."

"Nonsense! If anything that means he needs a party more than anyone! You're only 21 once you know. Just because we are in the middle of a war doesn't mean we can't have fun once in a while."

Lenalee bowed her head in defeat, knowing there would be no dissuading her brother now he was in full party planner mode.

"We'll have to do something to make it _really_ special…maybe I can make a new robot…" Komui was muttering to himself.

_Oh boy_. The female exorcist shook her head in despair. It looked like someone was going to have to keep an eye on her brother. She smiled ruefully_. Well, maybe a party isn't such a bad idea after all._

"I'll help you, brother…" she held up her hand to forestall the girly squeal of joy that erupted from the supervisor. "…but no robots" she finished sternly.

Komui pouted but reluctantly agreed. After all, what was creating a new robot compared to working side-by-side with his wonderful sister? Then a cheery, if slightly sadistic grin burst onto his face. "So, what would Lavi like best?"

Lenalee looked thoughtful for a moment or two, and then proclaimed "I've got it! It's perfect! But we're going to need some help."

"WHAT?!" Jim's voice could be heard throughout the order, causing several finders who had been sitting behind him to jump, almost falling out of their chairs in surprise.

Under the cover of the food fight that broke out when one of the surprised finders dumped an entire plateful of mashed potatoes and gravy onto his dining companion, Lenalee explained her plan to the New Zealander, whose eyes grew larger and more horrified as she spoke. By the time she'd finished, the young blond resembled a startled deer, his big chocolately brown eyes only adding to the overall effect.

He flushed a delightful shade of cherry red when she explained, in full, M-rated detail, what she wanted him to do.

"I don't think I can do this Lenalee!"

"Pffft. That's nonsense. You do it all the time, and you're so good at it now!"

The blush deepened with the compliment, but Jim wasn't going to go down without a fight. "But I've never done it with actions!" he hissed, anger and embarrassment evident in his voice.

Lenalee's grin broadened, she knew she was wearing him down. "But Jim! It's for Lavi! You know how down he's been!"

She immediately knew she'd said the wrong thing.

"It's not been easy on any of us Lenalee." He said sadly, moving to get up from the table, the pile of food in front of him forgotten completely.

The only reason he was at the order right now was that after a battle with some Akuma, Seren's innocence had been damaged and required repairing. Since Komui had refused to let Jim continue the search for Allen alone, he had been forced to return to Headquarters with the Welsh girl while her axe was fixed.

Lenalee bit her lip, wishing she could think of something to say. Eventually she just patted Jim's slumped shoulder in a reassuring way. "Maybe it'll help cheer us all up. Will you do it Jim? Please?"

He sighed, knowing he had lost. "Sure. Why not? It might be fun. I take it it's all a surprise?"

"Yes, and you are the star attraction. Get practicing!" She gave him a saucy wink and almost skipped away in happiness. This was going to be the best party the Black Order had ever seen.

Despite Lavi's supposed all-seeing bookman eye, he remained completely oblivious to the ongoing party preparations, despite the fact that everyone else in the order knew about it or was involved in some way.

His first clue should have been the run in with Kanda that he had first thing on the morning of the 10th August.

Now the fact that it was 5am and he'd met Kanda trailing down the deserted corridors wasn't that odd in itself. It had happened before, as Lavi quested endlessly to escape Bookman and his ever present, ever annoying logs, and since Kanda liked to begin training at the crack of dawn, they had often crossed paths, so Lavi didn't think much of it, not even expecting a 'happy birthday' from the Japanese man as he grouched through the empty corridors of the order. Which was good, because Kanda wasn't going to give him one.

It wasn't long after this chance meeting that Lavi realized that it _should_ have seemed odd to him. Kanda shouldn't have been outside his room at all. He was under house arrest, and was only allowed out to use the bathroom, and that was under escort.

So why was he wandering, alone, in the early hours? Lavi decided not to question it, for all he knew, Kanda had been sneaking out every morning since his imprisonment began nearly two weeks ago.

He also knew that any of the others, exorcist, finder or scientist, that came across Kanda would never report him to the higher ups. There wasn't one among them that thought Kanda was guilty of anything other than doing his duty, both to the order and to himself.

What Lavi didn't know was that Kanda had been released for the day so that he could help with the party preparations. Not that he wanted to, but a day free from the guard who trailed him even to the bathroom was too good to pass up, and he'd (if a little reluctantly) agreed to the terms.

Lavi thought it strange that, when he approached the dining hall for breakfast a little while later, he wasn't chased away or sent on a ridiculous mission to find a left-handed paintbrush or something equally absurd, as was apt to happen on someone's birthday, so a surprise party could be set up. Of course, after so many years and so many birthdays, it wasn't a surprise for anyone anymore.

However, this morning was the same as any other. It was early, so the dining hall was nearly deserted, with just a few finders dotted randomly around the room, and at a far table, a group of harassed looking scientists were slouched down, some of them dozing, others half heartedly picking at their plates of breakfast. Lavi assumed Komui was slacking off again, forcing his dedicated team to pick up after him.

Feeling a little put out, he approached the hatch, where he was greeted by a subdued and much less sparkly Jerry. Lavi put in his order, not at all surprised by the downcast attitude of the chef. Jerry hadn't been the same since Allen left.

Accepting his plate of egg on toast, Lavi made his way to a vacant table, feeling more dejected at the lack of birthday greetings. _I mean come on, just because everyone's depressed doesn't mean they should forget about me! _He took a mouthful of his breakfast, feeling immediately guilty. _Everyone's had a lot on their minds lately, it's not fair of me to expect them to drop it all just for my birthday. _He finished his breakfast quickly and silently, and slunk from the dining hall. It was only 6.30 in the morning and already it was shaping up to be the worst birthday ever.

Lenalee chuckled and rubbed her hands together with a slightly dark grin on her face. _Perfect, he thinks everyone's forgotten about his birthday…_

She glanced over at Jim, who was reluctant flipping through one of Lavi's magazines.

"I really don't think someone of your age should be looking at such things."

The sudden voice behind the pair made them both jump up, spinning wildly. There didn't seem to be anyone in the corridor, but that didn't mean they were alone. Lenalee brushed off her skirt. "General Cross, why are you sneaking around the order?"

"Why would I want to be seen?" The red-haired General stepped into view, peering over Jim's shoulder. "I like the blonde" he commented, studying the centre fold critically.

"General Cross!" exclaimed Lenalee. "Stop polluting Jim's mind!"

The General blinked a couple of times. "Me? I'm not the one sitting there while an underage boy flicks through a porn magazine!"

"He's doing research for me," she retorted with a perfectly straight face.

The General's eyebrow rose. "Well well, Miss Lee, I didn't realize you swung that way." He settled his hat more firmly on his head. "For a religious order, we do seem to have an extraordinary number of homosexuals."

Lenalee spluttered. "I'm organizing Lavi's birthday party! Jim's doing research for that! We're getting him some strippers!"

An slightly twisted grin appeared on the debaucher General's face. "Am I invited?"

The Chinese girl did not like that look one bit, but who was she to refuse a General? "S..sure. Everyone's invited, I guess."

"Excellent! I'll see you there!" and the General sauntered off.

As soon as he was gone Jim turned to Lenalee furiously. "What did you do that for?"

"He's a General! He might be a pervert, but I could hardly say no, could I?"

Jim hung his head. "I guess not, but I could have done without the extra pressure."

"You'll be fine." She patted his arm kindly, but the gleam in her eyes carried the silent 'or else'.

Lavi wandered listlessly 'til he arrived at the library. He readied himself for a day of mindless log writing and excess boredom. Pulling the book closer to him, he picked up his pen and began to write, feeling more and more depressed as he did so.

Eventually he stopped for a break, noting that it was now late afternoon. He figured he should probably go and eat something, but couldn't actually get his body to respond, and so gave up. He glared moodily at the book in front of him, once again deciding that this was the worst birthday in the history of all birthdays. And he was part of the bookman clan, he would know.

He spent so long staring at the blank page in front of him that eventually his brain turned off and he slumped across the desk, his eye closing and sleep taking him.

"Where is he?"

"Maybe we should have at least let him know we hadn't forgotten his birthday. Maybe he's wallowing in grief somewhere."

Lenalee shook her head. "I hope not, not after all the effort we went through."

Kanda snorted. "He'll be in the library. I'll go fetch him." He spared a disdainful glance at the finder the usually stood guard outside his room, as though daring him to follow before sweeping from the canteen.

"Are you ready for this Jim?"

"I hope so. It's not usually something I do though. I hope I don't mess up."

"You won't" Komui reassured from where he stood next to his sister. They listened as the sound of running footsteps sounded along the corridor.

"Have pity on me Yuu-chan! It's my birthday!"

"That's no excuse!" the Japanese man roared.

The gathered congregation sweat dropped collectively, each wondering if Kanda was acting, or if he was really trying to kill the birthday boy. Most hastily made bets leaned towards the latter.

The doors burst open and Lavi skidded to a stunned stop, completely forgetting about the other man behind him. Kanda hadn't reacted in time and crashed into the redhead, sending him flying. Somehow, Kanda remained on his feet, one eyebrow raised as he looked down on the heap of exorcist that was Lavi.

"Happy Birthday, baka usagi," he grunted before turning away and finding a dark lonely corner to grouch in.

Lavi looked around, an expression of extreme happiness all over his face.

"Happy Birthday, Lavi. You didn't really think we'd forgotten about you, did you?" Lenalee gave him a giant suffocating hug, all the while sending messages to Jim with her eyes. They'd got really good at this recently.

With an almost imperceptible nod, Jim activated his innocence and sat back against the wall, watching the event take place.

Two young, fresh-faced girls wearing…not an awful lot, pushed through the crowds, ignoring everyone who was currently drooling at them, their eyes fixed firmly on Lavi. Lenalee immediately let go and went to sit next to Jim, a faint smirk on her face.

The two girls (now wearing even less) danced around the currently nose bleeding redhead, who looked to be on the verge of passing out. Which he promptly did seconds later.

"That's it, free for all!" A completely inebriated Cross declared a moment later as the party-goers all stood stunned, looking at each other as though unsure whether to laugh or not.

Cross grabbed the nearest girl, who had blonde hair and green eyes, pulling her onto his knee. The girl's image flickered a moment as Jim shuddered, trying to hold onto the illusion, but then he got his control back and the girl smiled at the drunken general, who smiled woozily back, suddenly getting up and dragging the girl with him.

Jim looked aghast as the thought of a naked rampant General raced through his mind. Which the blonde-haired green-eyed girl promptly turned into. And the General never noticed.

He made to deactivate his innocence but Lenalee laid her hand over his. "Let's just leave them to it for a while…"

When Lavi came round the next morning (not at all remembering why he had passed out in the first place) all he heard talk about concerning his party was how Cross had made out with himself in the main hallway in front of several very shocked members of the central administration and a large group of very giggly finders.

But that was just ridiculous. Wasn't it?


	7. Black Order Baby, pt 1

So here's the first of three offerings. Pt. One comes in chapter 28 of Changing Lives, pts two and three come after the epilogue.

This took sooo long to do, I kept getting distracted…

* * *

Black Order Baby, pt: one.

FATHER

It was clear that Lenalee was getting agitated. She couldn't sit still and her fingers were fluttering nervously in her lap as she waiting for Allen to finish eating. He paused for a moment and glanced up at her, fork half way to his mouth. "You didn't have to wait for me here you know, I could have come and fetched you after I was done, save you sitting here."

She seemed to realise how outwardly nervous she was showing herself to be and her hands stilled momentarily before starting their twitching again. This time she made no move to stop herself. She did however manage to give Allen a somewhat stern look. "If I did that goodness only knows where you'd disappear off to. You know Kanda's just waiting to jump you as soon as you get back to your room."

Allen, who had just finished negotiating his fork the rest of the way to his mouth choked in alarm. "Lenalee!" he hissed "do you have to be _quite_ so blunt?"

She smiled happily, and Allen was glad that she seemed to be calming down a little, even if it was at his expense. "I could be blunter, if you really wanted" she suggested wickedly.

"Uh, no thanks" he mumbled and returned to his meal. After all, Kanda _was_ waiting to jump him as soon as he'd finished with Lenalee and her 'cunning' plan. He sighed and laid down his fork. "Ok, I'm done. What now?"

"Now we find Lavi" she said as though it was obvious. It _was_ but that was beside the point.

"That's your big plan?" he said in disbelief. "'Find Lavi?' What then?"

"Then you hold him down so he can't run away, and I tell him the news. Then I'll need you to carry him to the infirmary because he'll have fainted, and then I'll need to tell him again because he won't have believed me and… Oh God I can't do this!" she cried, her hands grasping handfuls of her hair.

"Calm down, surely it won't be _that_ bad?" Allen tried to comfort her, but the Chinese girl was having none of it.

"It will be, it'll be ten times worse! What do I do?"

Allen was beginning to see why she'd only got as far as 'find Lavi' in her plans. "Come on, let's go find him. He'll probably be in the library right about now, right?"

0o0o0o0o0

Lenalee couldn't bring herself to go into the library where Bookman was currently ensconced with his apprentice. He'd already unknowingly guessed the truth, and the last thing she wanted was him to realise his previous comment had been right on the mark, so Allen was sent in to extract the father-to-be without alerting the grandfather-to-be.

The white haired general rolled his eyes and straightened his shoulders, not entirely sure just why he had allowed himself to be roped into this whole cockamamie scheme in the first place. He found himself hoping that Lavi wasn't in the library at all, or, failing that, that he was indisposed- that Bookman was working him too hard to grant him a break to be kidnapped by the younger exorcist to be led away so that he could be cornered by said exorcist and the sister of the slightly (or maybe not so slightly) crazy supervisor who would then proceed to tell him he was going to be a father and… and… Allen was now sure he shouldn't have eaten so much sugar at lunch, he was positively hyper.

"Allen!" the object of his (unwilling) search exclaimed as he rounded a set of shelves piled with books. "What brings you to my domain?"

Allen glanced around, wary of Lavi's jovially. As he suspected, Bookman was nowhere to be seen. "Where's Bookman?"

If Lavi wondered why Allen was asking for the old man, he didn't let it show on his face. "He's gone to have a nap. He's been working too hard lately and he's not as young as he used to be." Lavi frowned a little, obviously confused. "Why?"

Allen nodded slowly. If Bookman was away then maybe they could do this here. It would certainly be easier to trap him in the library. Moving to another room would make him suspicious and it would be easy for him to slip away. So instead of answering, he activated his innocence and released his clown belt to the still closed door of the library. Allen yanked it open, revealing a startled Lenalee who squeaked when Lavi's eye turned on her.

"Lenalee," said Allen with a delightfully sinister grin on his face. "Why don't you join us?"

0o0o0o0o0

The Chinese girl closed the door behind her, her eyes fixed on the floor as she approached the two males across the room.

Allen turned to Lavi, the grin on his face suggesting that he was enjoying being an observer of this moment very much. "You better sit down" he informed Lavi kindly. Well, maybe he _meant _it to sound kind, but it came out rather gleeful. Lavi looked between the other two exorcists, his expression slightly worried. It was clear he was employing his massive Bookman intellect to try and figure out just what was going on. His single green eye flicked between his two friends, before settling on Allen, his only visible eyebrow raised.

Allen raised his hands defensively. "This has nothing to do with me!" he said, sounding a bit worried. "I'm just here for moral support."

Lavi's gaze flicked back to Lenalee, who stepped back involuntarily, emitting another funny little squeak. "So… what _is_ going on?"

Lenalee looked at Allen for help, though he just grinned in return. "Some moral support you are" she grumbled when it became obvious that Allen was going to do nothing but stand there and look pretty.

"What did you expect? You're the one who dragged me here. I have better things to be doing."

Lavi stifled a cough that could have been a certain dark-haired exorcist's name. "Um" the redhead began "Panda's gonna be looking for me soon, so can you kinda get to the point sometime today?

"You still haven't sat down" Allen pointed out helpfully, before turning back to face Lenalee. "Don't look at me like that" he said, still grinning like a demon "you have three minutes to say something before I do. And I won't be saying it to Lavi" he finished.

"You wouldn't!" Lenalee gasped, Lavi forgotten for the moment as she realized that Allen meant to tell her brother or Bookman of she didn't get on with it. "You're a cruel man!" she scolded. "I thought you cared about Lavi, and here you are threatening me with his death!"

"My…what?" asked Lavi, suddenly recognizing that this was a conversation he should probably be paying attention to. Both the other exorcists ignored him. He wasn't too happy about that. "Hello? My what?!"

"Your death!" snapped Lenalee before turning back to Allen as though Lavi wasn't even there. "I can't believe you! Why would you do such a thing?"

"I haven't done anything yet" Allen pointed out, idly flipping his hair out f his eyes. "And you're wasting time, you know. Only two minutes left."

"Stop pressuring me!" she wailed. "This isn't easy you know! I'd like to see you try it!"

Allen raised his eyebrows. "That certainly would be interesting, wouldn't it?"

"Oh you know what I mean!" she retorted, crossing her arms and sulking.

Lavi was very confused by now, and decided that if no one was going to let him in on the secret he was going to get the hell out of here before things got violent.

"One minute" Allen said and grabbed Lavi's arm as he tried to sneak out. "Nuh-uh, you're not going anywhere yet. Though if Lenalee doesn't say something in _thirty seconds_, I suppose I'll let you have a head start."

Lenalee gave him wide pleading puppy eyes, which just made Allen grin wider.

"But Allen!"

"Twenty-five"

"Moyashi? Can you let me go please?"

"Allen, come on, please, let me…"

"Twenty"

"…at least work out what I have to say…"

"Err… Moyashi? Allen? What's going on here?"

"Fifteen"

"…Allen! This is hardly fair!"

"I'm kinda worried now… What's this go to do with me?"

"Ten. You better hurry up Lenalee. Who should I see first? Komui, or Bookman?"

"What's panda got to do with this?"

"Oh my God don't you even think of telling my brother first!"

"Five…"

"Allen! Stop it now, it's not funny!"

"She's right, whatever's going on, I don't want anything to do with it!"

"…Four… are you sure about that?"

"What do you mean?"

"…Three… I bet you will, once you know what's going on…"

Lavi sort of blinked stupidly at him. "I will?"

"Yup. Two, by the way"

"Allen!" Lenalee whined pathetically.

"Time's running out… Oh yeah that reminds me… one" and Allen wiggled his eyebrows in a threatening manner, letting go of Lavi's arm in favour of walking towards the door. Lenalee hopped from one foot to the other in an extreme show of nervousness. She watched as Allen's hand closed around the door handle. Surely he wasn't really going to go and tell her brother, was he?

He didn't look back her, talking to the wood of the door. "Well, time's up. Time for me to go and spread the good news." He turned the door handle slightly. He wouldn't really go and tell Komui, or Bookman for that matter, the news. After all, that would put him in the line of fire, and he'd rather keep all of his limbs, thank you very much.

Lenalee gaped at him as he swung the door open and stepped through it. Lavi looked thoroughly confused by now and looked between the closing door and Lenalee who seemed about to explode. The door closed with a quiet click and Lenalee turned on Lavi like it was him that was accountable for the whole situation. "I'M PREGNANT AND ALL YOUR FAULT!" she screamed at him before chasing after Allen, hoping to head him off before he reached Komui's office.

Lavi stood for a whole minute, his mouth flapping open and his face deathly pale. "Oh" he said before he sat down on the floor in a bit of a daze. "Wait a minute! All _my_ fault?" and he leapt to his feet and stormed out of the library as though the very devil was on his heels. And if word of this ever reached Komui, he'd wish it was only the devil chasing him.

* * *

There we go, part one. Part two coming soon!


	8. Black Order Baby, pt 2

Don't forget, this comes after the very, very end of Changing Lives, so if you HAVEN'T read it yet (and why the hell NOT?) there be spoilers ahead.

* * *

Black Order Baby, pt: two

GRANDFATHER

Headquarters was still in a sombre mood. A week had passed since the funeral of those killed in the last, final stand against the Earl and his minions, but nobody left behind particularly felt like celebrating the end of the war. It wasn't like they could all go back to their past lives either. Though a few of the finders and scientists had left the Order, the majority of those stationed at Headquarters were still required- there were still Akuma out there, wandering without purpose now that the Earl was gone, and there was still innocence to be collected. Nobody was quite sure what would happen once all the Akuma were destroyed and innocence gathered- the future had always been an elusive concept for the Black Order, yet now they were faced with endless years of wonderful, comfortable _life_.

There were two people in the Order who found themselves planning for a future that neither of them quite believed they'd ever live to see.

Lavi certainly never once considered that he'd be planning for a baby. Especially _his_ baby.

"So…" he began, glancing at Lenalee. "What do we do now?"

The young woman didn't need him to elaborate on his comment. When she had first told him that she was carrying his child (something she was _still_ trying to come to terms with), they had agreed to keep it to themselves, and of course Allen, who had known before Lavi had, and most likely Kanda since Allen was useless at keeping secrets from the other man. Luckily Kanda wasn't one to gossip or the likelihood of Lavi still being alive was pitifully low.

Her heart clenched briefly at the thought of her friends before she effectively stomped on it. She would never forget either of them, and suspected that any thoughts of them would always be tinged with sadness, but she had a future to consider now and knew that Allen and Kanda would be the first to tell her to concentrate on the life growing inside her.

"Well," she began, biting her lip hesitantly. She knew what they needed to do now, but as soon as they stepped onto that path the shit would really hit the fan.

Lavi seemed to realise her hesitancy and pulled a coin out of his pocket. "Your call, heads or tails?"

"Heads" she said after a moment of silence where she seemed to be seriously considering her future embodied in the small silver disk.

Lavi nodded and expertly flipped the coin into the air. They both watched it turn, flashing silver with reflected sunlight as it arched towards the ceiling. He plucked it out of the air with enviable skill, clenching his hand around it as he swallowed tightly before slapping it down on the back of his opposite palm. He didn't uncover it for a minute until Lenalee leaned over and nudged his hand away. Together they looked down at the coin sitting innocently on Lavi's hand.

"Tails" she whispered, raising worried violet eyes to his ashen face.

"Oh shit" he gulped.

"How are we going to do this?" she asked him. He tried not to think too much about it, but he could see in her eyes the gloating 'it-serves-you-right' and 'I'm-so-glad-it-wasn't-me' that she did not voice. He also tried not to be jealous of her luck, but all that kept crossing his mind was the thought that her day would soon come.

However, that thought was quickly chased by the fact that that when it came to Lenalee breaking the news to her brother, it wouldn't be Lenalee that suffered Komui's wrath.

Sometimes his life sucked.

"You mean, how am _I_ going to do this" he corrected, slumping back with a sigh.

"Well actually, I thought it would be better if I spoke to him- after what happened last time-" a brief pause followed while they both recalled the sight (and for Lavi, the sensation) of Bookman kicking him into the wall. "-and we didn't even know I was pregnant then- just think what he'll do to you now!"

Lavi felt vaguely warmed, but his deep seated gentlemanly instincts (dammit- he must have spent too much time around Allen) kicked in. "I can't let you face him alone Lena, we'll both go."

"Okay, it's your funeral" she replied with a small shrug.

He wished she hadn't used _those_ particular words.

0o0o0o0o0

They stood in front of Bookman's door, staring at the wood and working up the courage to actually knock on it.

Lenalee pushed Lavi forwards so he was slightly in front of her and therefore first in the line of fire when they finally got round to actually knocking.

Slowly, as though he expected the wood to bite him, Lavi raised his hand and rapped firmly on the door

Bookman answered almost immediately, looking over his visitors curiously. If he was drawing parallels between this unexpected visit and the one that had happened a couple of months ago, it did not show on his face as he opened the door wider to admit them.

His room was organised chaos- a few open books littered the desk and bed, with stacks of paper covering almost every surface. It seemed that Bookman was in the process of finishing up his records of the last few years that he's spent with the Order. It was a sign that the Order's purpose was almost fulfilled- Bookman had decided to stay at the Order until all loose ends were tied up, and apparently he thought that time was near.

The old man glanced between the two exorcists. "Is there something wrong?"

Lavi and Lenalee looked at each other, both hoping the other would speak first.

"Well" Lavi began, since he _had_ lost the toss and all, "you know when we came to see you a couple of months ago..?"

Bookman said nothing, but nodded once, looking like he was rapidly growing impatient with the slow progress of the conversation.

"You see, well, there's something that you need to know."

Bookman quirked an eyebrow, looking between his apprentice who was deathly pale and twitching something terrible, to Lenalee who looked frankly sick, twisting her skirt hem anxiously in her hands. He thought back to the previous talk he'd had the last time these two exorcists knocked on his door.

"_Miss Li, what can I do for you?"_

_Lenalee shared a glance with Lavi before clearing her throat nervously. "We've come to ask for your help."_

_Without warning the old man was standing in front of the exorcists. Well, standing in front of Lenalee, since for some strange reason Lavi was flat on his back looking slightly dazed and nursing a Bookman-sized shoe print on his face. "Idiot boy, what have I told you about things like this? I knew your loose ways would land you in trouble!" Bookman snapped at the man still sprawled on the floor. He turned to Lenalee with pitying eyes. "You're wondering how to tell your brother? Well, I can't say I condone what has happened, but I'll make sure the Supervisor doesn't kill him, I'm sure we will both rather have him alive." He shot a look loaded with daggers at Lavi. "And don't think this will get you out of your duties to the clan!"_

_Lavi and Lenalee were by now thoroughly confused, and the look the exchanged said as much. "Err, Bookman, I don't think…"_

"_So, when did this happen? No, never mind… it doesn't matter now. When is the baby due?"_

"_Eh?" Lavi gaped at the old man. "Baby? You think Lenalee and I… baby?" He stood there with his mouth flapping open like a dying fish._

_Lenalee shook her hands in front of her rapidly, "No, no, no, no! That's not it at all! You've got this all wrong!" She looked around worriedly, half expecting Komui's sister-dar to have gone off and the mad scientist to be charging into the room at any moment ready to unleash his older brother fury (or his latest robot creation) on any male present. Lucky they were in Bookman's room, since she suspected even her brother would hesitate at bugging the old man's bedroom. "This isn't about me and Lavi, this is about Allen!"_

"_Walker got you pregnant?" asked Bookman, raising his eyebrow._

_There was a stunned silence as Lavi and Lenalee processed this question. Lavi could have sworn a tumbleweed blew past as the silence lengthened._

"_Allen's gay" Lenalee said eventually_

"_It's happened before" Bookman shrugged, pulling a pipe from somewhere on his person and filling it with tobacco before lighting it._

"_What, Allen got someone pregnant?" Lenalee asked, wondering at what point this conversation had become so surreal. "No, wait; I don't know why we're talking about this. I'm not having Allen's baby. I'm not having anyone's baby. That's not what we came here to talk about."_

He came to the only obvious conclusion. "So you really are having Allen Walker's baby?" he asked with a completely blank, expressionless face.

Lenalee and Lavi gaped at each other, then at him. Lavi decided he was vaguely insulted. No, scratch that, he was _very_ insulted. Why was it the old man didn't think the baby was his? Why _Allen_ of all people. It was a definite slur to his masculinity, he reckoned.

"Why do you automatically think its Allen's?" he demanded. Damn, but the sprout hadn't been _that_ irresistable, had he? Even if he _had _been, Kanda would have removed certain parts of his anatomy if he caught him sleeping around.

Bookman looked at him critically. "Firstly, I would like to think that Miss Li has better taste" he said smugly "and second of all, I know you are stupid, but I would hope that you aren't _that_ stupid."

Lai decided he was definitely being insulted here and was about to say so when Lenalee lay a soothing hand in his arm to quieten him.

"That's just the thing Bookman. I have always had poor taste, and Lavi really _is_ that stupid."

"Hey!"

Bookman said nothing as he turned to stare at Lavi, who swallowed and started to back away. "Err, Lenalee, help?"

The old man gave her a slightly softened frosty look. "I would not recommend getting involved in your condition, Miss Li."

She nodded rapidly and moved out of the way. Some things were more important than protecting one's some-time lover from vengeful old men. Like her nails. And the baby, of course.

Lavi cast her a hurt look before yanking the door open and running for his life. Unfortunately this just presented Bookman with a large moving target, and the old man's aim with his needles was legendary.

Lavi found he was unable to sit down properly for a week.

* * *

Its kinda short, and I hate it, but I'm struggling with real life at the moment and humour escapes me. .


End file.
